I don’t want to talk about it, but I guess I’m going to talk about it. I kicked Nevie out. I own it. I did that. No sugar coat. If you were to make a list of all of the terrible things I have ever done, that is probably the most terrible, to be honest, but I could not figure a way that we could cohabitate healthfully. I was forcing it to work for about four years because I wouldn’t allow myself to entertain a wider vision of options. Bob and Sequoia have quietly withdrawn from Nevie over these years, but I was always trying to engage. I’m the mom. I still wanted to be where I was very clearly unwanted.

Her dad has been talking to her for about four years, since I was hospitalized with major chronic depression. He has also bought her a phone, which she hid from me and the family, so he could have easy access to her, as well as a Macbook, $75-100 a month, and $300 for her trip to Costa Rica.

Her dad has given his second daughter, Sequoia, nothing. Sequoia refuses to engage with him.

Her dad is $30,000 in arrears in child support.

He really is paying Nevie to be in his life, and Nevie has been accepting this bribe.

Her dad also had encouraged Nevie to believe that she is a victim of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse, encouraged her to lie, to hide things from us, and encouraged her to file false reports. Of course, nothing comes of these reports.



Intellectually, I understand that she wants to build a relationship with her father, and that she is seeing for herself what kind of a man he is, but a child who would take money and gifts while her sister gets nothing, a child who accepts encouragement to lie and sneak, a child who saw all the damage that her father has done, including years and years of total abandonment…

My heart doesn’t get it.

My heart DOES NOT get it.

Nobody knows that this is going on because it is a situation that is supposed to be tastefully, kept quiet in within the family. It’s shameful of me to not have my child with me. It shouldn’t be discussed.

I’ve paid the small fee I pay for her school. I’ve filled out all the paperwork. Usually, I am helping her shop for school at this time of year. Usually I am picking things out for her birthday, which is in five days.

This year I’m not.

Love and light,

Your friend,





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